Friday, June 18, 2010

Carbonara and Winks - Part Two

And now let me tell you about those winks and how they connect with the carbonara.    

One year, for Christmas, during a particularly single time in my life, my mother bought me a slew of self help books that she heard about on Dr. Phil or Oprah.    She was worried about me.   To her credit, she had reason to be at the time.  The books sat under my tree that I didn’t put away until March (too busy at work, as usual).     Eventually I decided that maybe Dr. Phil might know something that I didn’t and cracked one open.    

Title one:  When God Winks on Love by SQuire Rushnell.   Go ahead and laugh now.    But seriously, it made an impression on me.     I’ve always had a firm belief in intuition and fate but now I had something new to think about.   

You know those times in your life when something happens, maybe the littlest of things, and it somehow redefines your life or reassures you that you are on the right path?     These are winks.   And they happen more than you think.   The key is in recognizing them and being open to whatever they are meant to tell you.   I think of them as little confidence builders, that somewhere out there someone has a master plan for me and wants me to know I am heading in the right direction, even if the path is not what I planned. 

I’ve had many winks since I discovered there was a name for them.   Some quite profound.   Some not.   Sometimes they happen and you do not recognize them until after the fact when you begin to connect the dots.     It’s a fun little exercise to go back and try and identify these moments in your life. 

Oh and by the way, since I’m relaying my own take on these winks, I do believe that they are entity independent (different from the book).    So God, Mother Nature, Intuition, or Guardian Angel… whatever it may be for you … I believe someone out there has a plan and wants to make sure you know it by sending little reassurances your way. 

I want to share one of my most recent tiny little winks so you know what I’m talking about.  

Last Sunday, I am back at home, sitting on my deck, enjoying the late afternoon sun and a glass of wine.    Flipping through one of my numerous cookbooks.    Happen to grab one of the books my dad gave me last Christmas.   In an amazing display of sensitivity and awesomeness, he gave me several very special items belonging to my mother.    

One of those items was the cookbook my mom bought on her very last trip to Italy with my dad.   It was the one she used to make dinners for the two of them in Rome, eating on the balcony on those perfect fall evenings after my dad returned home from work.   She inscribed every recipe she made with a little note.   Things like… “Dinner with E.   Fabulous night.   ****”   

She saved her receipts from the Italian grocery stores and tucked them in among the pages.   Train tickets.   Little notes to self of things she wanted to do.   Token reminders of their time together in Rome.   My mom loved Italy as much as I do.   Reading through that cookbook is like taking a little trip together. 


So I’m sitting on the deck, relaxing, enjoying my trip back to Rome with my mom and I start to notice something strange.   Some of the recipes begin to look familiar.    Like really familiar.    Odd.   Something told me to go dig through my still unpacked bags and find the Italian cookbook that I had purchased for my carbonara recipe.     Sure enough.   Different on the outside, but the same one.   We bought the same Italian cookbook.   In Rome.   Several years apart.  

And that is what I would consider a little life wink.    A message from my mom that only the two of us will ever understand.     At a time when I needed it most.     Amazing, right?

You see, there are winks everywhere if you are open to them.     And yes, when I met John, there were several significant winks... so I'd say Dr. Phil and SQuire Rushnell, with a little help from my mother, were right.   I guess I did need a little help.    

Carbonara and winks and cookbooks and leaving the single life behind.      All strangely connected.

After all of that, I’ll leave you with the moral of the story.    I believe there is a plan for each of us.   You may not yet know what it is.    Be open to your own little winks and reassurances along the way.  They contain important messages.  They may not make sense now but some day you’ll be able to look back and be able to connect the dots.

Happy Friday.     Wishing you all a fabulous weekend.  


  1. Charming story! And I agree; everything DOES happen for a reason :)

  2. such a lovely outlook. this year has been a really tough one for myself and some dear friends, so the whole 'everything happens for a reason thing' is hard to see at the moment, but i really like this idea of life 'winking' at you. like it knows better than any of us. :) (it probably does.)

  3. I will open my eyes and try and catch a glimps of those little winks, the last two years have been full of road blocks......

  4. Lovely story. I too will have to pay more attention to the winks. I agree that everything happens for a reason, although it's not so easy to understand in the difficult times. But then light comes in and you see it!

  5. I think that's it... during these moments, nothing makes sense... but time really does help things. It is impossible to understand this when you are going through tough circumstances. My philosophy is even when really terrible things happen that don't make any sense... somewhere you will find some meaning if you are open to it. It will take time, but it will arrive eventually!

    Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.


Thanks so much for your comments! I love hearing from you and read each and every one!